Memorial Service

Thank you so much to Kuiper Funeral Home and Suncrest Christian Church for putting together spiritually moving services for our son Trenton. The flowers that we have received from family and friends are so beautiful. We have not been able to read all of the cards yet…but we will soon, and we thank everyone for your love. I wanted to put Trenton’s eulogy on his site for those of you who could not attend the memorial service:

MEMORIAL TO OUR SON, TRENTON

Clint and I would like to say a loving thank-you to all of our family and friends who have come here today to remember and honor our son, Trenton. We have so many thank-you’s to give and could not even begin to list all of them – but I would like to name a few. The Make-A-Wish Foundation made it possible for Trenton to do some very special things. He was given the opportunity to touch and feed dolphins up close at Sea World, and also to do something that many of us will never be able to do in our lifetime – sit in the cockpit of an airplane, touch buttons, and move the yoke around. From the beginning, Trenton’s doctor, Dr. Charles Rubin and his Nurse Kelly Kramer took such good care of him. He enjoyed his visits with them – and loved to squeeze Dr. Rubin’s fingers to show how strong he was. Thank you to all of the organizations, family, and friends that supported us during this journey. We want everyone to know that we are blessed by your generosity, humbled by your sacrifices, and eternally grateful for your love and support.

We have come here today to celebrate the life of Trenton. He was a spirited and loving child, who could never sit still. At his ultrasound, the technician told us that he loved to play with his hands. I remember him always holding his hands or playing with his fingers in some way as a baby and toddler. Then my memories go to how he seemed to learn so quickly…like a sponge sucking up water. But, I have to say, that most of all, the things I remember about Trenton most are his compassion for his sister Ariana, his love for all of his family, his ever present negotiating skills, and his comical sense of humor.

Trenton would always want to buy Ariana gifts. He looked up to his big sister and they both played so well together. Ariana loved Trenton so much and she helped us and him get through these past 10 months. Trenton loved to have his cheeks kissed and his feet rubbed (something he got from mommy). Trenton also enjoyed to play a myriad of tricks. One of his favorite jokes was to walk up behind you or jump out to scare you with a “Boo”. Some of my most memorable moments with Trenton were spent at bedtime. We would talk about the day and laugh at so many silly things. We would discuss heaven and I would try to answer his many questions. One in particular was “Do they have a buzzlightyear bed in heaven?”. I told him that yes, there probably was, as well as so many other fun and wonderful things. Ending our conversation, he would throw is legs over mine and he would fall asleep with me holding him.

Trenton enjoyed his PlayStation games, running around the house or basement like Dash from the Incredibles, riding his bike around the block, and swimming. His favorite color was green and his favorite movie was ET. Trenton especially loved to play with his cousins, Jarett, Nicholas, and Aaron. Jarett was his best buddy – they were like brothers – almost inseparable. When they would get together, a new language was formed, and they would make up silly sayings. One saying that comes to mind is “I’m gonna get your but-um-bay”. Only they know its meaning – it is something special shared between them.

Trenton always knew what he wanted – whether it be food, toys, or clothing to wear. His socks always had to be pulled all the way up to his knees, and the tongues of his shoes had to be pushed down into his shoes – or he just would not budge. Trenton wanted to do everything by himself and usually caught onto any new task quickly. He was so eager to learn anything new and challenging. He helped daddy with many fixes around the house – especially when a screwdriver was being used. He helped mommy too by putting his clothes away and even begging to swiffer the kitchen floor.

Trenton spent special time with his grandparents. He went fishing with Grandpa Richards, camping with Grandpa and Grandma Anderson, and even got to ride in Great-Grandpa Aultman’s trailer down to the river. His Grandma Richards gave him so many kisses – back of the neck – under the chin and Grandma Kouris made hand angels and hand molds with him. He spent the night at Aunt Denise’s house – she was his official nail trimmer. He wrestled around a lot with his Uncle James. He cooked with his Great Aunt Jackie – splattering batter around the kitchen. His love for his family was evident – and their love for him was unlimited.

Trenton attended Gingerbread Pre-school for about 5 months. While there, he was able to experience a normal school type setting. He made many friends, and especially loved his teachers Mrs. Kuchar and Mrs. Bates. Trenton came home one day and said “I love her” about Mrs. Kuchar. They would send special letters to eachother sometimes. Trenton was so loved and cared for at school – even when he started to change physically – all of his little friends liked to see him in class and treated him so well.

As his condition deteriorated, I never saw Trenton cry or complain about the loss of any of his abilities. Sure, there was frustration, and even at times pain, but he always trusted in mommy and daddy. He would roll with it – adjust to the changes – and continue to make us all laugh. Last Wednesday was to be our final visit with Dr. Rubin and Nurse Kelly at the University of Chicago. Trenton was listening to Nurse Kelly talk to him about something and then he rolled his eyes and said “Blah, Blah-Blah, Blah-Blah”. He made all of us laugh even though he was fading.

I believe that Trenton was a special child and I feel so blessed that GOD chose me for his mommy. At diagnosis I wanted Trenton to live and I felt devastated. I have now come to accept that his fight, his struggles, his passing was his purpose in life. He has brought our family closer to GOD. Through Trenton, I have learned more about love, forgiveness, compassion, generosity, my own strengths & weaknesses, and what really matters in life. I am comforted to know that Trenton has touched so many others lives…with his smile…with his laughter…with his fight. His journey reminds all of us that our lives can be going in one direction on any given day, and then be completely changed the next. Trenton’s ability to keep his humor during the last 10 months helps us to recognize that we too can choose our daily attitudes about life no matter what our circumstance. His courage through every treatment, and his ability to be make others laugh until the very end shows us that if a 5 year old with cancer can live life to its fullest – we can too.

From the day I first held him in my arms, Trenton had a piece of my heart. When he left us, he took a piece of me with him. My Trenton, I have so much to say about all of the special moments we shared together. I will cherish every memory I have of you for the rest of my life. GOD did give us a miracle – the miracle of you. GOD blessed us with precious time to spend together – time to say how much we loved you and time to say good-bye. I was given the unique gift of seeing you talk with an angel. I will always be comforted when remembering the bliss in your eyes and the joy in your sighs as you interacted. Thank you for the sunshine for Ariana. My son, my baby, I am so proud of you, and I love you so much. Mommy will see you in heaven when my purpose is fulfilled. Thank you for the special kisses, for touching my face with your hands, for looking into my eyes with love, and for the joy you brought to my life.

I will miss you so much – here is one last kiss – and you can’t wipe that one away!!

I would like to end with a poem that touched my heart…..

I’ll Be There (author unknown)

Daddy Please don’t look so sad, Momma please don’t cry
“Cause I am in the arms of Jesus, and He sings me lullabies
Please, try not to question God, don’t think he is unkind.
Don’t think He sent me to you, and then He changed his mind.

You see, I am a Special child, and I’m needed up above.
I’m the Special gift you gave Him, the product of your love.
I’ll always be there with you, and watch the sky at night.
Find the brightest star that’s gleaming,
That’s my halo’s brilliant light.

You’ll see me in the morning frost, that mists your window pane.
That’s me in the summer showers, I’ll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a little breeze, from a gentle wind that blows.
That’s me, I’ll be there, planting a kiss on your nose.
When you see a child playing, and you heart feels a little tug,
That’s me, I’ll be there giving your heart a hug.
So daddy, please don’t look so sad, momma don’t you cry.
I’m in the arms of Jesus, and He sings me lullabies.

Donna[newline]