Ariana broke out in hives last Thursday evening. We still do not know what caused such a large allergic reaction. They were ALL OVER her body…her joints started to hurt really bad, and I decided to take her to the emergency room on Saturday evening. Ariana could not close her hands well – only slowly – and she could not walk at all. She said that her feet hurt and she could not move her knees. Anyway, they checked her urine for protein and blood – negative result (Thank goodness – if not we would have been going up to the U of C for further tests on her kidneys!!) We were given 3 prescriptions for allergic reactions – and Sunday her joint swelling had gone away. She still had some hives – but they were not as itchy. As of today, we are still fighting this reaction…she still has a few active hive spots, and she says that her feet are sore. I will be contacting Dr. Vicente tomorrow to find out what – if anything – we need to do further. Ariana is missing Trenton. She was saying prayers to God yesterday about Trenton…she says that she prayed 5 times. I told her that it is OK to miss Trenton…we all do very much.
I went to a grieving group today called “Coffee & Comfort for Mother’s”. I was so glad I went…I was able to talk about Trenton…about my experiences with his decline in health…and many women there understood where I was coming from. I have been feeling so much like a zombie lately…not really knowing what to do…feeling out of touch…here but not here. I really do not know how to put it into words. Without Trenton, my life has changed so much. He was the reason I decided to stay on 3rd shift…I wanted to spend time with him…keep him home instead of at all day care while I worked. Now I will be going back to work on May 15th – 3rd shift for the summer – and I will try to get on 2nd when school begins.
All the times that we shared together…I remember them, the happy and the hard ones. I find myself going back to the day he was born and just working my way to the day he passed…trying to remember everything…how his cheeks felt to kiss – his hands in mine…the way he looked at me when he was a few days from leaving – with such love and wisdom in his eyes – I would bury my head in his lap and try not to cry, but he knew I was, so he would stroke my hair as if to say “It’s OK mommy”. I would look up and say “I love you so much – you know that” and he would look at me and shake his head yes. (he could not talk very much at this point). I told him so many times that I loved him…I couldn’t stop telling him…and I love him so much today…I miss him so much today.
Well, I have to get Ariana out of her Aveeno bath…she’s probably all pruned up by now (OOPS!!) She has started to learn to play the guitar…she actually is catching on quite quickly (must pick things up like I do..ha ha). Thank you to all of you who have continued to send us cards, call us, or email us. We are so grateful for all of the love and support we have recieved from all of our family and friends!! GOD BLESS all of you!!!
Donna
Ariana & Trenton’s Mommy Forever[newline]
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